I spoke to one of my high school football coaches yesterday by chance. He was contacting my employer to let us know of his wife’s passing. It was an unusual situation since I would normally not be answering those calls but just happened to be helping at the end of the day. I could hear the heaviness in his voice, but could also hear his reserved strength. We spoke about the business that needed to be settled and then he asked about how I was doing. He told me that he and my offensive line coach always thought highly of me and appreciated me. I told him that I loved playing for them and that we definitely had a lot of great times together on the field. We ended the call wishing each other well and hoping to speak again.
As I thought about our contact later in the evening I came to some conclusions. The call coming to me at that moment was not a coincidence. I don’t know why I can say that with such certainty but it felt purposeful. It felt intended. So what could that intent be? Perhaps it was for me to lend a common voice from his past to comfort him in a time when talking to strangers can be difficult. Maybe it was for me to learn some lesson from the reminder of the impact we humans can have on each other.
I came away from the experience thinking this. There are people in our lives that impact us and then drift from our memory. Life moves on and we forget about what they gave to us to help build this person we’ve become. It felt like an opportunity to stop and ponder for a short time the tangible things this one coach, or my coaches in general, gave to me. They pushed me, they prodded me, they poked fun, they yelled, they praised me, and they were there for me when it was hard. They taught me that practice was always worth the work, despite how my body felt. They taught me that being talented or big was not enough to succeed. That hard work had to be applied to the mix or you got much less then you could have. They taught me that struggling together with a team towards a common goal creates bonds that last forever. They taught me to be there for my friends, my teammates, and my family to lift each other up and celebrate together.
As a young boy I saw those coaches as these elder figures that had tons of years of experience and knowledge that they were sharing with us. Men that thought in a manner that I had never even considered before. They told me things about myself and about opportunities that I didn’t know existed. Then as an adult I realized that these were 30 year old men who were sharing very precious time away from their families to help young boys become men. Sure, there was football involved and they loved the game and wanted us to be successful, but they were teaching us about life. They were trying to build character, toughness, the ability to overcome failure, and so much more. The wins we had on the fields were fine but their greater victories wouldn’t be realized for years. When they heard back from us and saw that we became good citizens, had families of our own, and thought that maybe they had a small part in creating that man. That is the validation they sought when they sacrificed those hours under the lights, in the rain, and in the film room.
That the contact was an opportunity to tell that coach how much I appreciated him and the time he gave to me. It wasn’t a long explanation, just a few sentences. But I was able to say that I was grateful for his guidance and proud to have played for him. I told him we had great times together winning and losing and that I carry those memories with me tightly. I was able to tell him that I wouldn’t be who I am or where I am today without the role he, and all the coaches, played in my life. We are given these small chances in life to let others know how they have impacted us and we shouldn’t let those moments go by with speaking. The greater lesson this interaction reminded me of was that everyday we have a chance to say or do something for someone that could make their day, their month or maybe be a small piece of what makes them the human they become.