Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. Is this just some parental aphorism that gets thrown around to get children to not eat the second slice of cake? Or to prevent the unruly uncle from having that seventh beer at the birthday party? Or perhaps to keep you from buying that unnecessary new tool? It is all those things for sure. It also has a much wider application for our daily lives.
It is a clear and straight forward reminder to be discipline. To be judicious in your thinking about things that do not require you to reach for them. It serves as a vocal guiderail to keep you from continually going just slightly over the edge. A bit past what is required, or healthy, or necessary. It is a reminder that we have to exercise personal control over the decisions that we make. We spend our days negotiating with ourselves about what we deserve. Trying to convince ourselves that because we did some common part of daily life that is required to function as an adult that we should grant ourselves a prize. We have allowed ourselves to no longer be sufficiently rewarded by the pride we feel in getting through the day, completing a task, or making good choices.
These aphorisms are reminder bombs that we carry around with us to be deployed upon ourselves, and occasionally upon others, when we can see or feel errors are about to be made. And maybe those decisions don’t immediately result in what one might see as an error. It’s just an extra slice of cake, I deserve that new tool, my week was rough another beer is fine. What is does result in is an instant of approval. A moment when we allow, and give permission to, a thing we normally would avoid. String enough of those approvals together and we find new habits.
We then find an acceptance just beyond the line we once had drawn for ourselves. We start slowly discounting the things that once gave us guidance and made us feel safe. Do this long enough and you, and your life, slowly becomes unrecognizable. But we can’t see it till we have a 5, 10 or 20 year view of it.
It is our responsibility to control ourselves. To care enough about the outcome of all of our decisions that we are not okay with moving the line. Sometimes it takes that aphorism to open your eyes again. Maybe we are overstating the power of a short sentence. But when we stat dancing near those lines we will take all the help we can get. The responsibility to discipline ourselves is both our greatest strength and the challenge that will vex us our entire lives. The sooner we accept that we will always battle against it, the more likely we will be to stop at “can”, because we should.